Mediation Myths

Myth #1: Mediation is not for complicated cases.

Mediation can often be the most effective platform for a well though-out divorce.  Whether your circumstances are complicated or not, mediation peacefully identified and gathers the information you need to make informed decisions.  Not only explored are objective data, but also motivating interests, and present and future concerns.  Mediation empowers you to find what can work, now and later for your family.

Mediation often provides the most effective platform for divorcing couples, whether your situation is complicated or simple. It is a peacemaking process for not only identifying and gathering objective information, but also for exploring your underlying interests and motivation in a skilled mediator can help you find common grounds on which to reach settlement. It’s quicker, more cost effective, and empowers you to make your own decisions, not giving your power to decide to a lawyer or a judge.

Critics wrongly say divorce mediation is only for simple cases, or for couples seeking an amicable divorce and who basically agree on everything.  Not surprisingly (and very conveniently), most divorce lawyers define all but the easiest cases as “complicated”.  And those must be handled in costly litigation. The ”facts” that make cases complicated are often not the objective data and legal issues.  Rather, the emotional drivers and win-lose conflict are the complications.  Litigation serves to highlight and aggravate differences and conflict.  Mediation shows a couple to see what good results and agreements can look like.

Myth #2: Mediation is not for high-net-worth couples.

Mediation is effective for all asset and income levels.  The same issues, financial and otherwise, are addressed in mediation no matter how much money a couple has.  The legal duty of each partner to disclose all financial data applies in mediation as in litigation.  The difference lies in how information is obtained and explained.  In mediation all information is brought to the table, reviewed, digested and understood.  Or the couple selects a neutral financial expert to present their picture.  Unlike litigation, combative experts are not needed to summarize complex data and explain their meaning.

Further circumstances that    a mediating couple to have the help of a neutral financial include potential knowledge or power imbalance.  Having a forensic neutral analyze a couple’s possibly complex data also allows the expert to explain their tax and other consequences of their financial options.

Myth #3: Mediation is not for high-conflict couples.

When conflict is high, couples are more highly challenged to complete their divorce whether in litigation or mediation court combat can take years before judicial decisions are made.  Fees and costs commonly total hundreds of thousands.

Experienced mediators know how to guide a high-conflict couples to create workable settlements.  It will take more time, there is the degree of discord in the relationship to account for.  But, by the process of mediation, you may learn more effective ways of communicating with each other for later, as parents.  Litigation tends to escalate conflict.  It is, after all, an adversarial process, pitting one side against the other in a “win-lose” forum.  Mediation teaches couples “new scripts”, how to gain win-win outcomes, and not rely on what was ineffective in the past.  Mediation is especially recommend and beneficial if you have or have shared children together.  Parenting plans and arrangements are more lasting and effective when couples mediate and choose what to do.  In litigation, a court forces its arrangements on the parents.

Some divorces may not be effectively handled in mediation, such as when physical safety is involved.  But divorce mediation is the first and best choice for most couples.  It is one that provides them a platform to good Results, Not Regrets.  Nothing is lost.  There is everything to gain from engaging a confidential and safe divorce mediation effort.  Call (949) 752-2727.  Is divorce mediation for you?